If there was an Olympic medal awarded for worst plastic surgery, Bob Costas would definitely take the gold. I dunno what he's had done—a face lift, an eye lift or maybe the Botox needle hit an optical nerve. But every time they cut to him, he's got this crazy bug-eyed stare. It's a kinda spooky look—like he just saw the ghost of Dick Button. What? Dick's still alive? Could have fooled me! He certainly wasn't wearing those shoes in the Ramble!

While wife Catherine Zeta-Jones is entertaining the masses on Broadway, hubby Michael Douglas is practicing the piano. Why? He's going forward with a big-screen biopic about pianist Liberace that will be directed by Steven Soderbergh. The hold-up was casting the role of Lee's lover, Scott Thorson. Michael was hell-bent on landing Matt Damon—who isn't? And he got his wish. Damon's in...perhaps that was a poor choice of words under the circumstances.

Lord knows where Matt Damon will squeeze this in ... again, perhaps a poor choice of words. He has just been announced to play RFK in a biopic, is reuniting with buddy Ben Affleck for a movie, and has at least two other films in pre-production. Busy boy.

As you know, James Franco has been studying film at NYU. His short, "The Feast of Stephen," has raised more than eyebrows after screenings in Las Vegas and Berlin. Based on Anthony Hecht's poem, the subject matter is a teenage boy's sexual awakening, with lines like: "Boys for the first time frankly eye each other, inspect each others' bodies at close range." Well, Franco delivers. We see said boy watching a shirts vs. skins basketball game. And then we see the boy's fantasy—the skins being not only shirtless, but pantless. Franco is happy to show every inch of these ball players' skin ( including foreskin ) in a way reminiscent of those early Bruce Weber A&F commercials. You can sneak a peek at BillyMasters.com.

Law & Order: SVU is really pulling out the guns when it comes to guest stars. Last week, we told you about Kathy Griffin. Keep your eyes open for another redhead to pop up—Ann-Margret. The legendary lady will pop up on the March 31 episode, playing an actress who used to make television commercials in the '70s ( think Rula Lenska ) . The episode also includes Jaclyn Smith who will play a retired cop who comes out of retirement to help solve an old crime that Rula ... er, I mean A-M was involved in. A bigger crime is that no one even thought to simply hire poor ole Rula! Even worse, the brass found a way to fit in cameos by both Morgan Fairchild and Susan Anton. Oh, the injustice of it all...

You may not believe this, but I can't wait till I start getting gray hairs. Of course, I could already be going grey. God knows, I haven't let the poor follicles breathe! But I think the salt and pepper look is so hot on guys. Take Matt LeBlanc, who was recently snapped sporting an almost completely gray head of hair. First time I've found him sexy in eons.

I've been getting a steady stream of Olympic "Ask Billy" questions, like this one from George in Dallas: "Evan Lysacek. Straight? So tall and lean and muscular. Really? And what's his body like under that Lycra?"

Certainly all reports indicate that the gold-medal winner loves the ladies. And during an interview with spooky old Bob Costas, his speech pattern was eerily reminiscent of Brian Boitano—another confirmed pussy hound. But, you know, there are other things to take into consideration. Vera Wang, feathers, hair gel, just the right amount of face stubble. Hmmm....I dunno. The only females he's been linked to are fellow athletes ( shades of Mr. Button ) . Then there's his body. We must tip our hat to the folks at "OK" magazine, who did a spread featuring shirtless Olympians. Evan's ripped, taut torso ( and that little tattoo below his waistline ) is certainly something to behold ( I'm thinking of something in particular I'd like to beholding, but that's another story ) . Skier Andy Newell was also quite impressive—enough so that I'll post both pics on BillyMasters.com.

Could it be that we haven't seen all of Scott Brown? Sure, there's that nude "Cosmo" shot, but he's covering up the goods. I wondered what else I'd find if I did some digging. For example, didya know he was a successful male model represented by the renowned Wilhelmina in New York for a few years? When he came back to Boston, he was repped by Boston legend Maggie Trichon for about a decade. That's lots of shoots—with a day rate well into four figures. So we dug a little deeper and what do you think popped up? A full-frontal nude photo. It certainly appears to be his face and body. And it's certainly an impressive penis—even if it does lean to the right. But is it real? And where did it come from? And are there more? All of that will be revealed on BillyMasters.com.

When a straight guy has even heard of Vera Wang, it's time for me to roll my eyes and end yet another column. As you all know, I'll be appearing at Jeffrey Sanker's White Party in Palm Springs, Calif. But I won't be alone. While I'll be joined on the white carpet by the glamorous Candis Cayne, pop sensation Ke$ha will be entertaining the hot, shirtless, sweaty masses with "TiK ToK," among other hits. To get your tickets and more information, go to www.JeffreySanker.com or, better yet, go to www.BillyMasters.com for the latest info and links. If you've got a question, feel free to write me directly at Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Ann-Margret gets an endorsement deal with VO5! Until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.